The process of seeking a senior living option almost always begins the same way. Something happens—a fall that proves Dad isn’t as agile as he used to be or Mom’s memory issues have reached a point where living at home just isn’t enough anymore.

All of a sudden, you’re scrambling to figure out your options, what’s good and what you can realistically afford. And instead of pausing and figuring out some kind of strategy, most families jump headfirst into making calls and scheduling in-person tours.

But smart families are doing it differently these days. They’re starting with virtual tours and it’s changing the entire game.

Why In-Person Tours Aren’t Good Enough

In-person tours take an incredible amount of time. You likely have a full-time job, kids at home and siblings who want input but have minimal availability as well. Each tour takes at least a two-hour chunk out of your day—an hour driving there and back, at least a half hour walking through it with the obligatory marketing director trying to get you to sign on the dotted line.

Do that five or six times and you’ve spent over a week to ten days just trying to get out there and see places. And by the end, you’re still not fully educated on what you’ve seen and the best questions to even ask.

In-Person Tours Are Overwhelming Too

In addition, in-person tours are overwhelming. You’re shown a lot of information—hallways, dining rooms, activity schedules, care plans.

Someone is chatting at you the whole time and it’s difficult to gauge what’s most important when all you’re trying to do is be polite and absorb the information being thrown at you.

What a Virtual Tour Shows You

A good virtual tour allows you to maneuver the space at your own pace. You can look at the same room three times if you need to, no one is standing over you directing the conversation away from your interests.

You understand the layout—is the room big enough for someone to bring their own furniture? How far is it from the residential wing to the dining area (does Mom have to walk 15 minutes just to get to her breakfast)? What’s the outdoor space like (because Dad won’t want to be cooped up inside all day).

For example, the Mari de Villa virtual tour allows families to explore specific living spaces and common areas before having to schedule anything to get in a car and drive somewhere. You could do it on a Tuesday night after the kids go to bed when your parents’ busy lives prevent you from facilitating in-person tours.

Why Virtual Tours Matter

This is more important than people realize. Many places look great on their website through carefully curated photos. A virtual tour is harder to manipulate. You notice if the hallways are wide or institutional, if there’s natural light in the common spaces or if everything looks too worn down versus well maintained.

This saves you time on gas money in the long run because once you’ve clicked through four or five communities, you begin to see differences emerge. Some places cater specifically to independent seniors who may only want social activities and minimal help. Others provide better setups for memory care or skilled nursing situations.

You can tell which places will serve your family best and also determine where your priorities lie. For example, maybe you thought a beautiful lobby was ultra-important, but after a few virtual tours you realize private bathrooms for all residents is much more critical.

How Virtual Tours Help In-Person Tours

Moreover, you come prepared for in-person tours with better questions. You’ve already seen the space so instead of saying “can I see a resident room”—which they were going to show you anyway—you can ask “I saw some rooms had different layouts but they’re all the same size here. How do you determine who gets what?” or “The rehab room looks pretty small—how many therapists do you actually have?”

You’re also better at discerning discrepancies between what you’ve seen online vs. what’s in person. For example, if the virtual tour shows a lovely dining room but it smells funny upon entering when you’re there, or no one is sitting down for lunch at noon with empty tables, that speaks volumes.

If everyone’s friendly online but no one will make eye contact in person—that matters too.

When Virtual Tours Are Especially Helpful

Virtual tours are especially useful when distance comes into play—for example, if your family lives three states away and you’re looking for something closer to your sibling who could help more often; you can’t hop into a car and spend one full day trying out multiple sites.

The same goes for urgent situations—where someone is being discharged from a hospital and there needs to be placement immediately—you don’t have time to check ten communities—you need to narrow it down to two or three viable options quickly.

Even if you live nearby there are logistical reasons why virtual tours facilitate access without requiring admission into these communities first. For example, if you’re actively caring for someone who needs placement and can’t leave them alone for 15 hours in a single week—or your own mobility limits your ability—it’s easier just starting online.

Real Benefits to In-Person Tours

Virtual tours do not provide everything necessary—they don’t allow you to assess a smell—potentially more important than most people realize in senior living—and if things are too loud/too quiet/horribly dingy/inaccessible are all important observations best made in person.

You also can’t meet staff virtually—their treatment of residents plus their patience versus seeming rushed adds another invaluable element when developing relationships after placement.

The importance of food—and whether you’ll be eating it—that’s another benefit of being there in person because most communities will invite you to stay for a meal during your tour process so get that in too.

Making a Stressful Process Easier

Overall, starting with virtual tours takes some of the pressure off this seemingly chaotic process. The last thing you’re stressed about is having a parent who needs more care than you can give them; now finding them a suitable place should not add another layer of stress.

By starting virtually, you’re empowered at your own pace—with family review—allowing for decisions without immediate pressure thereafter making in-person interviews strictly confirmation of top contenders with nuanced details still needing addressing.

That’s a much better place than desperately seeking any community that strikes your fancy without a real idea or preference of what they need.

Smart Families Have Figured This Out

Smart families aren’t skipping in-person tours—those are still critical—but they aren’t starting with them anymore. They start virtually first—and it’s made all the difference in the world with placement.

Jane