How Tatiana Kukanova Manages a Multi-Cultural Relationship
After college, my friend Tatiana Kukanova and I decided to spend some time traveling around Mexico. Prior to leaving, we had one rule between us, and that was that neither of us would fall in love with a Mexican and fail to come home. That pact was, of course, a joke, yet neither I nor Tatiana Kukanova actually expected it to come true. Around 2 weeks before we came home we were in the beautiful oasis of Tulum when Tatiana Kukanova broke the rule, she feline love with a local guide and decided that she wanted to give things a try. We actually came back home together but Tatiana went back, 10 years later they are married with one child, it turned out to be a good decision on her part. I speak with Tatiana all the time about how difficult a relationship is between 2 different cultures, and here is how she made it work.
Tatiana spoke no Spanish when she got together with Moises and this was the first hurdle which they had to get over. For the first 2 years Tatiana went through intensive learning in order to get her Spanish up to scratch, which she managed to do. Moises also wanted to improve his English so he did the same, and now they speak a weird amalgamation of both idioms. The point is that language is our way of expressing ourselves, and that was the reason why they both had to learn.
There are some aspects about his culture which Tatiana finds ridiculous, and he likely feels the same about some things in our culture. Something which they had to learn however was patience and respect for the other person and their culture. Tatiana doesn’t understand why Moises’ grandmother dresses a doll of the baby Jesus at Christmas, but she has learned to accept these kind of traditions and keep her mouth shut, Moises will have done exactly the same.
You must have thick skin in order to date or be in a relationship with someone from another culture, especially when there is a latino or a latina involved. I can remember seeing Moises go crazy with Tatiana over absolutely nothing and they would both erupt like this in a heartbeat. Tatiana would then spend the next couple of hours upset talking to me, and Moises would come out like nothing had happened. We quickly learned that this is what his culture was like, it is explosive, but they move on so quickly, it was never his intention to hurt or offend her, just an eruption of passion. What is interesting is that he is the same on both the positive and the negative side, and his passion for her is there for all to see when he showers her with love and affection. It was a tough learning curve for Tatiana but she now understands it.
These are tough relationships for sure but with a bit of work they can survive and thrive.