May 2005
Listed chronologically by release date.

Ancient Chinese Whorehouse (HK 1994)
Director: Kai Ming Lai
Release Date: 05/03/2005
Price: 14.99
MPAA Rating: NR
Yvonne Yung Hung (Miss Ng),

Easily the most eye catching title of the month. A bizarre concoction of low brow humour, sex and sadism, I can't find anyone prepared to admit to liking it. NR means definitely NOT for the kids in this case.

Battle of the Bulge (UK 1965)
Director: Ken Annakin
Release Date: 05/03/2005
Price: 19.97
MPAA Rating: NR
Henry Fonda (Lieutenant Colonel Kiley), Robert Shaw (Colonel Hessler), Robert Ryan (General Grey), Dana Andrews (Col. Pritchard), George Montgomery (Sergeant Duquesne), Ty Hardin (Schumacher), Pier Angeli (Louise), Barbara Werle (Elena), Charles Bronson (Major Wolenski), James MacArthur (Lieutenant Weaver), Werner Peters (General Kohler),

Not quite as star packed as The Longest Day, but from the same mentality. Memorable for big budget tank packed action scenes (featuring contemporary tanks!). Robert shaw is excellent as a frustrated German tank commander. Enjoyable and long absent World War II 60s pic. NR, hmm, probably PG-13 these days.

Dirty Dozen (USA 1967)
Director: Robert Aldrich
Release Date: 05/03/2005
Price: 12.97
MPAA Rating: UN
Lee Marvin (Major Reisman), Ernest Borgnine (Maj. Gen. Worden), Charles Bronson (Joseph T. Wladislaw), Jim Brown (Robert T. Jefferson), John Cassavetes (Victor Franko), Richard Jaeckel (Sergeant Bowren), George Kennedy (Major Max Armbruster), Trini Lopez (Pedro Jiminez), Ralph Meeker (Captain Stuart Kinder), Robert Ryan (Colonel Everett Dasher Breed), Telly Savalas (Archer Maggott),

Another cracking classic 60's war film. Come on you've seen it haven't you? Criminal soldiers are put together for a suicide mission. Savalas steals it as a religious psycho. Re-release.

Entity (USA 1982)
Director: Sidney J. Furie
Release Date: 05/03/2005
Price: 19.98
MPAA Rating: R
Barbara Hershey (Carla Moran), Ron Silver (Phil Sneiderman), David Labiosa (Billy), George Coe (Dr. Weber), Margaret Blye (Cindy Nash), Jacqueline Brookes (Dr Cooley), Richard Brestoff (Gene Kraft), Michael Alldredge (George Nash), Raymond Singer (Joe Mehan), Allan Rich (Dr Walcott), Natasha Ryan (Julie),

Tacky but very scary tale of the supernatural wherein an unfortunate single mom is sexually abused by...something...Alarmingly realistic special effects by Dick Smith and Stan Winston.

National Treasure (USA 2004)
Director: Jon Turteltaub
Release Date: 05/03/2005
Price: 29.99
MPAA Rating: PG
Nicolas Cage (Ben Gates), Diane Kruger (Abigail Chase), Justin Bartha (Riley Poole), Sean Bean (Ian Howe), Jon Voight (Patrick Gates), Harvey Keitel (Sadusky), Christopher Plummer (Johns Adams Gates), David Dayan Fisher (Shaw), Stewart Finley-McLennan (Powell), Oleg Taktarov (Shippen), Stephen A. Pope (Phil),

Mix of US history, treaure hunt and action adventure with Nicolas Cage as Indiana...uh...Ben Gates. Not quite as much fun as Tomb Raider but enjoyable.

Night Flier (USA 1998)
Director: Mark Pavia
Release Date: 05/03/2005
Price: 9.97
MPAA Rating: R
Miguel Ferrer (Richard Dees), Judy Entwisle (Katherine Blair), Dan Monahan (Merton Morrison), Merton H. Moss (Dwight Renfield),

Re-release for this adaptation of a Stephen King short story about a vampire with a pilot's license. Absolutely ridiculous seeming, but actually works and is watcheable and scary! Helped by a good turn from Miguel Ferrer as a seedy newsman. I do like the character name "Dwight Renfield".

Phantom of the Opera (USA 2005)
Director: Joel Schumacher
Release Date: 05/03/2005
Price: 27.95
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Gerard Butler (The Phantom), Emily Rossum (Christine), Patrick Wilson (Raoul), Miranda Richardson (Madame Giry), Minnie Driver (Carlotta), Ciaran Hinds (Firmin), Simon Callow (Andre),

Competent filming of the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical that seems to please those would like that sort of thing. I like my Phantoms a little more blood thirsty and less inclined to burst into song, however.

Pocahontas (USA 1995)
Director: Mike Gabriel
Release Date: 05/03/2005
Price: 29.99
MPAA Rating: G
Irene Bedard (voice - Pocahontas), Judy Kuhn (voice - Pocahontas singing), Mel Gibson (voice - John Smith), David Ogden Stiers (voice - Gov. Radcliffe), John Kassir (voice - Meeko), Russell Means (voice - Powhatan), Christian Bale (voice - Thomas), Linda Hunt (voice - Grandmother Willow), Danny Mann (voice - Percy), Billy Connolly (voice - Ben),

Disney continues its policy of including more goodies, thank you, on their releases. Not quite scaling the giddy heights of Lion King or Beauty and the Beast, but a solid entry in the animated genre, nobody, except Pixar, does it better.

Spaceballs (USA 1987)
Director: Mel Brooks
Release Date: 05/03/2005
Price: 29.98
MPAA Rating: PG
Mel Brooks (President Skroob/Yogurt), John Candy (Barf), Rick Moranis (Dark Helmet), Bill Pullman (Lone Star), Daphne Zuniga (Princess Vespa), Dick Van Patten (King Roland), George Wyner (Colonel Sandurz), Michael Winslow (Radar Technician), Joan Rivers (Voice: Dot Matrix), Lorene Yarnell (Dot Matrix), John Hurt (Himself),

Loaded DVD re-release for Mel Brooks scattershot Star Wars spoof. This one has aged well on the small screen, and seems more popular now than in its day. The best bit has the villain watching Spaceballs himself in an effort to gain the advantage.

Twelve Monkeys (USA 1995)
Director: Terry Gilliam
Release Date: 05/03/2005
Price: 14.98
MPAA Rating: R
Joseph Melito (young Cole), Bruce Willis (James Cole), Jon Seda (Jose), Madeleine Stowe (Kathryn Railly), Christopher Plummer (Dr. Goines), David Morse (Dr. Peters), Brad Pitt (Jeffrey Goines), Annie Golden (woman cabbie), Frank Gorshin (Dr. Fletcher), Simon Jones (zoologist), Kevin Thigpen (Kweskin),

Willis stars as the poor schmuck sent back in time to avert a world disaster. Re-release for Terry Gilliam's redo of La Jetee. Absolutely brilliant and gets better with each viewing too. Willis, Stowe and a gonzo turn from Brad Pitt are excellent.

Vampires: The Turning (USA 2005)
Director: Marty Weiss
Release Date: 05/03/2005
Price: 24.96
MPAA Rating: R
Patrick Bauchau (Raines),

2nd in-name-only sequel to Carpenter's Vampires, this one adds an Asian martial arts twist to the franchise. Go rent Kindred with Bauchau instead.

Americanization of Emily (USA 1964)
Director: Arthur Hiller
Release Date: 05/10/2005
Price: 19.97
MPAA Rating: NR
James Garner (Lieutenant Charles E. Madison), Julie Andrews (Emily Barham), Melvyn Douglas (Admiral William Jessep), James Coburn (Lieutenant Commander "Bus" Cummings), Joyce Grenfell (Mrs. Barham), Edward Binns (Adm. Thomas Healy), Liz Fraser (Sheila), Keenan Wynn (Old Sailor), William Windom (Capt. Harry Spaulding), Judy Carne (), John Crawford (Chief Petty Officer Paul Adams),

Most excellent tale of cocksure GI Garner falling for Brit Andrews and the dangerous mission he is sent on. Garner's favourite film, which must count as something. Recommended. NR means PG in this case methinks.

Assault on Precinct 13 (France USA 2005)
Director: Jean-Francois Richet
Release Date: 05/10/2005
Price: 29.98
MPAA Rating: R
Ethan Hawke (Jake Roenick), Laurence Fishburne (Marion Bishop), Maria Bello (Alex Sabian), Drea de Matteo (Iris Ferri), John Leguizamo (Beck), Aisha Hinds (Anna), Currie Graham (Michael Kahane), Gabriel Byrne (Marcus Duvall), Fulvio Cecere (Ray Ray), Kim Coates (), Brian Dennehy (),

Competent remake of John Carpenter's brilliant thriller. Plot changes now mean that the baddies lay seige to the cop station to eliminate a gang boss (Larry Fishburne). I'm looking forward to this one.

Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (USA 2004)
Director: Wes Anderson
Release Date: 05/10/2005
Price: 32.99
MPAA Rating: R
Bill Murray (Steve Zissou), Owen Wilson (Ned Plimpton), Cate Blanchett (Jane Winslett-Richardson), Anjelica Huston (Eleanor Zissou), Willem Dafoe (Klaus Daimler), Jeff Goldblum (Alistair Hennessey), Michael Gambon (Oseary Drakoulias), Noah Taylor (Vladimir Wolodarsky), Bud Cort (Bill Ubell),

Unique arthouse lowbrow comedy(?) with Bill Murray playing a jaded version of Jacques Cousteau out to avenge himself on a shark. Very funny if you're in the right mood.

Life and Death of Peter Sellers (USA 2004)
Director: Stephen Hopkins
Release Date: 05/10/2005
Price: 26.98
MPAA Rating: NR
Geoffrey Rush (Peter Sellers), Charlize Theron (Britt Ekland), Emily Watson (Anne Sellers), John Lithgow (Blake Edwards), Miriam Margolyes (Peg Sellers), Peter Vaughan (Bill Sellers), Sonia Aquino (Sophia Loren), Stanley Tucci (Stanley Kubrick), Stephen Fry (Maurice Woodruff), Henry Goodman (Dennis Selinger), Alison Steadman (casting agent),

Not bad biopic of the great, slightly mad comic actor, Peter Sellers. I find these things a bit awkward when one is very familiar with those being portrayed. I note that Geoffrey Rush is excellent as too are Charlize Theron and Emily Watson. For Rush this marks a major turn away from his desire to be the new Vincent Price.

Great Rock 'n Roll Swindle (UK 1980)
Director: Julien Temple
Release Date: 05/17/2005
Price: 19.98
MPAA Rating: R
Malcolm McLaren (The Embezler), Steve Jones (The Crook), Sid Vicious (The Gimmick), Paul Cook (The Tea-Maker), John Lydon (Johnny Rotten, The Collaborator), Mary Millington (crook's partner), Irene Handl (Cinema usherette), Edward Tudor Pole (Tadpole), Jess Conrad (Jess), Liz Fraser (woman in cinema), Ronnie Biggs (The Exile),

Bizarre psuedo documentary on the rise of The Sex Pistols, the punk band who came to stand for the movement as a whole. Delightfully bad mannered and offensive. The music sounds much more professional to my ears these days. RIP Sid Vicious, and RIP Johnny Rotten, come to that, who is appearing on Reality TV shows these days. Anarchy in the UK. Amen.

Team America (USA 2004)
Director: Trey Parker
Release Date: 05/17/2005
Price: 29.95
MPAA Rating: R
Trey Parker (), Matt Stone (),

Bawdy, vulgar puppet satire on the current world situation from the South Park folk, which tries hard to offend everyone equally. Curious useage of Gerry Anderson Thunderbirds style puppets. Definitely funny. Definitely NOT for all tastes.

White Noise (USA 2005)
Director: Geoffrey Sax
Release Date: 05/17/2005
Price: 29.98
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Michael Keaton (Jonathan Rivers), Chandra West (Anna Rivers), Deborah Unger (Sarah Tate), Ian McNeice (Raymond Price),

Spooky tale of voices from beyond the grave. Probably the most familiar trailer to anyone who went to the cinema in the past year. The film itself didn't seem to hang around very long. One of the better scare pics of the recent batch. (I prefer the black humour of Saw).

Aviator (USA 2004)
Director: Martin Scorsese
Release Date: 05/24/2005
Price: 29.95
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Leonardo DiCaprio (Howard Hughes), Cate Blanchett (Katharine Hepburn), Kate Beckinsale (Ava Gardner), John C. Reilly (Noah Dietrich), Alec Baldwin (Juan Trippe), Alan Alda (Sen. Ralph Owen Brewster), Ian Holm (Prof. Fritz), Danny Huston (Jack Frye), Gwen Stefani (Jean Harlow), Jude Law (Errol flynn), Adam Scott (Johnny Meyer),

Perfect cast in a perfect movie. Biopic of Howard Hughes aerial and other eccentricities. DiCaprio pulls off the role with aplomb. After the disappointing Gangs of New York it is good to see Scorsese back to form. Highly Recommended.

Bedtime for Bonzo (USA 1951)
Director: Frederick de Cordova
Release Date: 05/31/2005
Price: 12.98
MPAA Rating: G
Ronald Reagan (Peter Boyd), Diana Lynn (Jane Linden), Walter Slezak (Hans Neumann), Lucille Barkley (Valerie Tillinghast), Larry Crane (Student), Jack Gargan (Teacher), Herbert Heyes (Dean Tillinghast), Billy Mauch (Student), Harry Tyler (Knucksy), Jesse White (Babcock),

Yup, you can make a film this ridiculous AND still be President. Actually this is just a typical 50s disposable comedy, entertaining in its own way. But Ronnie makes it.