April 2005
Listed chronologically by release date.

Amityville Horror (USA 1979)
Director: Stuart Rosenberg
Release Date: 04/03/2005
MPAA Rating: R
James Brolin (George Lutz), Margot Kidder (Kathy Lutz), Rod Steiger (Father Delany), Don Stroud (Father Bolen), Murray Hamilton (Father Ryan), John Larch (Father Nuncio), Natasha Ryan (Amy), K.C. Martel (Greg), Meeno Peluce (Matt), Michael Sacks (Jeff), Helen Shaver (Carolyn),

A previously happy family moves into a haunted house. Much maligned at the time of it's release, this one has dated well and emerges scary as they come. How much of it is true though. I've always been fond of the scary thing in the upstairs window which if you freeze frame is actually kind of comical.

Amityville Horror 3: 3D (USA 1984)
Director: Richard Fleischer
Release Date: 04/03/2005
Price: 14.95
MPAA Rating: PG
Tony Roberts (John Baxter), Tess Harper (Nancy Baxter), Robert Joy (Elliot West), Candy Clark (Melanie), John Beal (Harold Caswell), Leora Dana (Emma Caswell), John Harkins (Clifford Sanders), Lori Loughlin (Susan Baxter), Meg Ryan (Lisa), Neill Barry (Jeff),

Hokey addition to the Amityville franchise, with the gimmick of 3-D in the cinemas. Nice beastie in the pool though. Hey, isn't that Meg Ryan? Odd for Richard Fleischer to be associated with this, he used to make REALLY GOOD films.

Elektra (USA 2005)
Director: Rob Bowman
Release Date: 04/03/2005
Price: 29.98
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Jennifer Garner (Elektra), Goran Visnjic (Mark Miller), Kirsten Prout (Abby Miller), Will Yun Lee (Kirigi), Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa (Roshi), Terence Stamp (Stick), Natassia Malthe (Typhoid), Bob Sapp (Stone),

Jennifer Garner dons the pinchy leather outfit once more, but at least gets star billing this time out. Somewhat convoluted plot for a comic book that doesn't really grip the imagination, made up for by exuberant action sequences. Directed by veteran Star Trek helmer Rob Bowman.

Rowing with the Wind (Spain 1988)
Director: Gonzalo Suarez
Release Date: 04/03/2005
Price: 14.99
MPAA Rating: R
Hugh Grant (Lord Byron), Lizzy McInnerny (Mary Shelley), Valentine Pelka (Percy), Elizabeth Hurley (Claire Clairmont), Jose Luis Gomez (Polidori), Virginia Mataix (Eliza), Ronan Vibert (Fletcher), Bibi Andersson (Fornarnia), Terry Taplin (Godwin), Karen Westwood (Fanny), Kate McKenzie (Jane Williams),

Yet another version of the events on Lake Geneva that begat the novel Frankenstein (Gothic, Haunted Summer being the other two). Interesting but not a patch on Ken Russell's version. I couldn't take my eyes off Hugh Grant's perm.

Whisky Galore (UK 1949)
Director: Alexander Mackendrick
Release Date: 04/03/2005
Basil Radford (Captain Paul Waggett), Catherine Lacey (Mrs Waggett), Bruce Seton (Sergeant Odd), Joan Greenwood (Peggy Macroon), Wylie Watson (Joseph Macroon), Gabrielle Blunt (Catriona Macroon), Gordon Jackson (George Campbell), Jean Cadell (Mrs Campbell), James Robertson Justice (Dr McLaren), Morland Graham (The Biffer), John Gregson (Sammy MacCodrun),

Delightful Ealing comedy detailing the fate of 50,000 shipwrecked cases of whisky. Originally titled Tight Little Island in the US. One can sense the joie de vie coming out of this post war British film.

Young Poisoner's Handbook (UK 1994)
Director: Benjamin Ross
Release Date: 04/03/2005
Price: 9.98
MPAA Rating: R
Tobias Arnold (Young Graham), Ruth Sheen (Molly), Roger Lloyd Pack (Fred), Hugh O'Conor (Graham), Norman Caro (Mr Goez), Antony Sher (Dr. Zeigler), John Abbott (Chairman),

As if an episode of Masterpiece Theatre had been directed by the Coen brothers. Deliciously nasty little film about a nerdy little fellow who sets about removing anyone he doesn't like. Recommended for those with ghoulish tastes.

Sideways (USA 2004)
Director: Alexander Payne
Release Date: 04/04/2005
Price: 29.98
MPAA Rating: R
Paul Giamatti (Miles Raymond), Thomas Haden Church (Jack), Virginia Madsen (Maya), Sandra Oh (Stephanie), Marylouise Burke (Miles' Mother), Jessica Hecht (Victoria),

A kind of Coming-of-Middle-Age road movie as two not-so lads embark on a voyage of discovery around the California wine country. Giamatti is wonderful as usual in this slightly offbeat comedy. Recommended.

Mac and Me (USA 1988)
Director: Stewart Raffill
Release Date: 04/12/2005
Price: 14.95
MPAA Rating: PG
Christine Ebersole (Janet), Jonathan Ward (Michael), Tina Caspary (Courtney), Lauren Stanley (Debbie), Jade Calegory (Eric), Andrew Divoff (Policeman #2), Buckley Norris (Highway Man), Jack Ong (Technician #2), Sterling Swanson (Police Captain), Martin West (Wickett),

Hideous ET rip-off loaded with gratuitous product placement for MacDonalds. Someone please stop Stewart Raffill from making movies.

Ocean's Twelve (USA 2004)
Director: Steven Soderbergh
Release Date: 04/12/2005
Price: 27.95
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Brad Pitt (Rusty Ryan), Catherine Zeta-Jones (Isabel Lahiri), George Clooney (Danny Ocean), Ed Kross (Bank Officer), Julia Roberts (Tess Ocean), Andy Garcia (Terry Benedict), Casey Affleck (Virgil Malloy), Scott Caan (Turk Malloy), Bernie Mac (Frank Catton), Don Cheadle (Basher Tarr), Matt Damon (Linus Caldwell),

Amiable caper follow up with a cast to die for. The on screen participants seem to be having more fun than the audience is though.

Captain Blood (USA 1935)
Director: Michael Curtiz
Release Date: 04/19/2005
Price: 19.97
Errol Flynn (Peter Blood), Olivia de Havilland (Arabella Bishop), Lionel Atwill (Col. Bishop), Basil Rathbone (Levasseur), Ross Alexander (Jeremy Pitt), Guy Kibbee (Hagthorpe), Henry Stephenson (Lord Willoughby), Robert Barrat (Wolverstone), Hobart Cavanaugh (Dr Bronson), Donald Meek (Dr. Whacker), Jessie Ralph (Mrs. Barlow),

Superior Errol Flynn vehicle that put him on the cinematic map. Many buckles are well swashed.

Meet the Fockers (USA 2004)
Director: Jay Roach
Release Date: 04/19/2005
Price: 29.98
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Robert DeNiro (Jack Byrnes), Ben Stiller (Greg Focker), Dustin Hoffman (Bernie Focker), Barbra Streisand (Roz Focker), Blythe Danner (Dina Byrnes), Teri Polo (Pam Byrnes), Owen Wilson (Kevin Rawley),

Amiable sequel to Meet the Parents, wherein the object of the exercise is to put the strait-laced Byrnes family into as many embarrassing situations as possible. Funny. Casting Hoffman and Streisand was inspired.

Private Lives of Elizabeth and Essex (USA 1939)
Director: Michael Curtiz
Release Date: 04/19/2005
Price: 19.97
Bette Davis (Queen Elizabeth I), Errol Flynn (Earl of Essex), Olivia de Havilland (Lady Penelope Gray), Donald Crisp (Francis Bacon), Alan Hale (Hugh O'Neill, Earl of Tyrone), Vincent Price (Sir Walter Raleigh), Henry Stephenson (Lord Burghley), Henry Daniell (Sir Robert Cecil), James Stephenson (Sir Thomas Egerton), Nanette Fabray (Mistress Margaret Radcliffe), Ralph Forbes (Lord Knollys),

Bette and Errol do the historical epic thing with scant attention to history. Bette was born to play Liz I, though.

Stratosphere Girl (Netherlands Germany Italy Switzerland UK 2004)
Director: Matthias X. Oberg
Release Date: 04/19/2005
Price: 24.99
MPAA Rating: NR
Chloe Winkel (Angela), Jon Yang (Yamamoto),

A comic book artist becomes embroiled in a murder in Tokyo. Visually arresting film. Quite refreshing.

Blade 3: Trinity (USA 2004)
Director: David S. Goyer
Release Date: 04/26/2005
Price: 29.95
MPAA Rating: UR
Wesley Snipes (Blade), Kris Kristofferson (Abraham Whistler), Dominic Purcell (Drake), Jessica Biel (Abigail Whistler), Ryan Reynolds (Hannibal King), Parker Posey (Danica Talos),

Third outing for the predjudiced vampire killer finds the formula running out of steam. Lacklustre villains and a sidelined hero are my biggest gripes. Pity, the first two installments are hugely entertaining (if you like that sort of thing). New Line are spoiling you for choice here. You can get the theatrical release wide and full screen or the 'unrated' version widescreen.

Darkness (Spain USA 2002)
Director: Jaume Balaguero
Release Date: 04/26/2005
Price: 29.99
MPAA Rating: R
Anna Paquin (Regina), Lena Olin (Maria), Iain Glen (Mark), Giancarlo Giannini (Albert Rua), Fele Martinez (Carlos),

Familiar feeling horror opus that should have gone straight to video and hopefully will play better in that medium. You know the routine spooky house, gullible family, something nasty under the floorboards. Perhaps Balaguero was making a homage to Lucio Fulci films. Teeters mostly below average.

Kanal ( 1956)
Director: Andrzej Wajda
Release Date: 04/26/2005
Price: 79.95
MPAA Rating: NR
Teresa Izewska (Daisy), Tadeusz Janczar (Korab), Wienczyslaw Glinski (Lt. 'Zadra'), Tadeusz Gwiazdowski (Sgt. Kula), Stanislaw Mikulski (Smukly), Emil Karewicz (Lt Madry), Vladek Sheybal (The Composer), Teresa Berezowska (Tereska/Halinka), Maria Kretz (Wounded Woman), Adam Pawlikowski (SS officer),

Relentlessly grim and powerful look at the resistance movement in the Jewish ghetto in Poland as the Nazis work on exterminating the problem. Excellent companion piece to Polanski's The Pianist. Highly Recommended.

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (USA 2004)
Director: Brad Silberling
Release Date: 04/26/2005
Price: 29.95
MPAA Rating: PG
Jim Carrey (Count Olaf), Emily Browning (Violet Baudelaire), Liam Aiken (Klaus Baudelaire), Kara Hoffman (Sunny Baudelaire), Shelby Hoffman (Sunny Baudelaire), Timothy Spall (Mr Poe), Billy Connolly (Uncle Monty), Meryl Streep (Aunt Josephine), Catherine O'Hara (Justice Strauss), Jude Law (Voice:Lemony Snicket), Cedric the Entertainer (The Detective),

In parallel to Harry Potter, the first three (!) Lemony Snicket books are brought brilliantly to life. Well cast and oodles of fun. Recommended.

Leonard Part 6 (USA 1987)
Director: Paul Weiland
Release Date: 04/26/2005
Price: 19.95
MPAA Rating: PG
Bill Cosby (Leonard Parker), Tom Courtenay (Frayn), Joe Don Baker (Snyderburn), Moses Gunn (Giorgio), Pat Colbert (Allison Parker), Gloria Foster (Medusa Johnson), Victoria Rowell (Joan Parker), Grace Zabriskie (Jefferson),

Inept comedy almost, almost but not quite bad enough to become a cult. Secret agent Cos is called out of retirement to save the world (Hey, isn't that the plot of The Incredibles?). Film represents the low point of David Puttnam's brief tenure at the helm of Paramount studios.

My Name is Nobody (Italy 1974)
Director: Tonino Valerii
Release Date: 04/26/2005
Price: 19.99
MPAA Rating: PG
Terence Hill (Nobody), Henry Fonda (Jack), R. G. Armstrong (Honest John), Leo Gordon (Red), Steve Kanaly (Barber), Geoffrey Lewis (Scape),

Bizarre spoof of spaghetti westerns made by the pioneers of spaghetti westerns?! Hugely entertaining, clever and very funny if you're in the right mood. Plot has to do with to-old-for-this-sh*t gunfighter Fonda, trying to find a way to retire without getting killed. VERY highly recommended.

Quatermass Conclusion (UK 1979)
Director: Piers Haggard
Release Date: 04/26/2005
Price: 39.95
MPAA Rating: NR
Ralph Arliss (Kickalong), Jane Bertish (Bee), Brian Croucher (Pay Police Lt.), Brenda Fricker (Alison), Charles Lamb (orderly), John Mills (Prof. Bernard Quatermass), Simon MacCorkindale (Joe Kapp), Barbara Kellerman (Clare Kapp), Margaret Tyzack (Annie Morgan), Brewster Mason (Gurov), Annabelle Lanyon (Isabel),

Prof. Bernard Quatermass returned in the 1970s for one final battle with aliens. The world is in chaos with youth in violent rebellion against society, and an unearthly power is at large. Quatermass just wants to find his granddaughter in the melee. Brilliant in concept, low budget in execution, this is British sci-fi at its very best. DVD includes the four episodes from the original series AND the abbreviated movie version. The planet people hippies are occasionally irritating, but all is redeemed in the finale. Very highly recommended.

Snow White and the Three Stooges (USA 1961)
Director: Walter Lang
Release Date: 04/26/2005
Price: 9.98
MPAA Rating: G
Carol Heiss (Snow White), Larry Fine (Larry), Joe de Rita (Curly), Moe Howard (Moe), Edson Stroll (Prince Charming), Patricia Medina (Queen), Guy Rolfe (Count Oga), Edgar Barrier (King Augustus),

The stooges wreak havoc with the traditional fairy tale. Somewhat lesser vehicle for the stooges.