"Slacker" follows the adventures of Dave (Devon Sawa), Jeff (Michael Maronna) and Sam (Jason Segel). They are 45 days from graduating from Holden University. They have worked their way through this prestigious school by cheating. The movie opens with the "Mission Impossible" style theft of a university stamped blue book for taking a physics exam. The theft involves re-routing a women's track event into the path of an Airborne Express truck so that the skateboarding co-conspirator who broke into the rear of the moving truck can escape with the book. The plot is also designed to allow Jeff to pretend he was struck by the truck. Dave will then go take the test, when in actuality he is copying the exam. He takes the copied exam to a friend who fills out the answers. Then Jeff goes to his professors office stating that he needs to take the exam as he was hit by a truck. This complex mess is implausible and not very funny. If our heroes had put as much effort into studying for the exam as they did stealing a blue book they would be on the dean's list. "If they did that, there wouldn't be a movie!" you say. Now there's an idea! What is even more ridiculous is the fact that Sam is a master forger who prints up fake diplomas. You'd think he could come up with a rubber stamp that says "Holden University" so he could go to the college bookstore and buy a blue book to stamp.

      On to the rest of the plot! While Dave is "taking the exam" he sits next to the beautiful pixie, Angela (James King). The seat that Dave takes was vacated a moment before by the nerdy Ethan (Jason Schwartzman). Ethan sniffed Angela's hair as he passed behind her. Ethan returns and wants his seat back. Dave isn't budging. Dave wants to get Angela's number. Dave doesn't realize that Ethan is a major psycho stalker who has a shrine set up in his bedroom to Angela. Dave writes his name and phone number on the exam and gives it to Angela. Of course Dave is going to find it. Of course Ethan is going to blackmail Dave and his friends into helping him stalk Angela. Of course Dave and Angela are going to fall in love.

      It is a shame that "Slackers" is as bad as it is because the movie has potential. Jason Schwartzman as the creepy Ethan is very funny. Most of what he has to do is not funny, embarrassing even, but he keeps your attention when he is on screen. When Ethan reveals to Dave that he both loves and hates Angela and wants to deal with those issues alone in a locked room with the object of his obsession, I thought the movie was going to explore a dark path that might just redeem the movie. Of course, this avenue for exploration was dropped as soon as it was raised.

      The performers are for the most part likable. Devon Sawa was good in Dave. Here he does the best with the crap he is given to perform. James King is also good as the much sought after Angela. Her Angela is marriage material. Jason Segel and Michael Maronna as Dave's sidekicks are OK. It is Jason Schwartzman as Ethan who gets the most laughs. Laura Prepon (Donna from "That 70s Show") is totally wasted as Angela’s trampy roommate, Reanna. Reanna takes a magazine ‘purity test.’ She tells Angela that "I’m two point the other side of skank ho!" That is typical of the witty lines written by David H. Steinberg. Steinberg also wrote the story for "American Pie 2." That movie is Shakespeare compared to this mess. According to IMDB this mess had four working titles back in the year 2000. Unfortunately "Slackers’ found its way off of the shelf.

      Gina Gershon and Cameron Diaz have small cameo appearances as Ethan's fantasy women. I thought I saw Neve Campbell in one scene but I'm not sure. The most disturbing cameo comes from 50s sex bombshell Mamie Van Doren. Ms. Van Doren was along with Jayne Mansfield, a Marilyn Monroe wannabe. Her biggest claim to fame was the scandalous "High School Confidential" in which she tried to seduce Russ Tambyn from "West Side Story." In was had to be a desperate ploy for money and attention, Ms. Van Doren plays an old retired prostitute in the hospital. Ethan has volunteered at the hospital because Angela has. Ms. Van Doren runs Angela out of the room so that Ethan can give her a sponge bath. I must admit that Ms. Van Doren's silicone implants still look good, but the rest of her is a mess. To me, this scene summed up the whole movie. "Slackers" is lousy porn with out the sex.

Rusty White, 2002