t was only a matter of time. We waited through May. We waited through June. And finally, on the last big weekend of the summer season, the first "real" summer blockbuster has finally arrived. Armageddon isn't a fabulous movie (and there's no doubt most critics will probably be panning it), but what no one will be able to deny is that it is two-and-a-half hours of non-stop, testosterone laden asteroid madness, and a hell of a lot of fun. If you don't leave the theater feeling like you've just gotten off a big ass roller coaster ride, then you've probably got some issues to deal with (joking, of course).

      It's loud. It's big. It's that typical mindless big budget blow 'em up that lands somewhere between ID4 and The Rock. Bruce Willis plays Harry S. Stamper, the world's foremost deep core oil driller, called upon by NASA to head up a team to thwart an asteroid the size of Texas from casually wiping out every last organism from the face of the earth. With the aid of NASA's best space pilots and his roughneck crew of drillers, they plan to land on the behemoth (traveling at a paltry 22,000 mph), drill an 800 foot hole, and drop off a nuke large enough to split the rock in two and divert it from Earth. His crew consists of some of the most rugged and unruly men on the planet. There's Rockhound (Steve Buscemi), a greedy sex-fiend doing it for the money. Chick Chapple (Will Patton), a thrill-seeking cowboy doing it for…the thrill of it. And A.J. Frost (Ben Affleck), a hot-shot young buck who's doing it for a girl. Of course, it just so happens that the girl is Harry's "blossoming" daughter Grace (Liv Tyler), who as Rockhound puts it, "grew up to be a babe". Along for this heroic journey for mankind's continuance is the man with the plan, NASA director Dan Truman (played by a very convincing Billy Bob Thornton). In a nutshell, they have 18 days to put an end to the end.

      If you saw Deep Impact, don't worry about doing a double take with Armageddon. The two films have almost nothing in common. Impact is drama first, comet later. Armageddon is asteroid first, asteroid later, asteroid 'til you drop. If you can accept that simple fact, you'll have a fantastic time at the theater. The script is laced with quip one-liners that for the most part work well for the film (Buscemi really eats up his role). And although the laws of science are pretty much thrown out of the airlock as soon as the crew gets into space, director Michael Bay (The Rock) is relentless with the action sequences, which make the somewhat sappy love-drama between Affleck and Tyler forgiveable. The special effects are remarkable, and the destruction sequences will have your jaw dropped with disbelief. However, in the end, Armageddon plays out like an elaborate Fourth of July fireworks show: Big Bangs and dazzling eye-candy effects that you just can't help but enjoy. That's not so bad, is it?

Stephen Wong, 1998